Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
