I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize