is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You can't motorboat a personality
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
