That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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