just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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