if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
