Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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