Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
