I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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