your thong is hanging out like whoa
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize