Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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