Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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