Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
id be glad to
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Randomize