Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
