Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
