Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
