you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
