Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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