So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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