You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
