As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
