high people should be assigned attendants
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
