I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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