Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
