Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
