google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
