We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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