you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
