When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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