I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
