if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
