So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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