Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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