You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
