you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize