you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
