i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
