We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
