To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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