I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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