This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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