what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
