Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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