sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
