he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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