Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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