i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
