The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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