So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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