wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize