Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
