If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
did i walk over a car last night?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
