Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
