That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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