this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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