after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
