Will you blow on my dice?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
