Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
