ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
