I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
